


No You Don't

by countingcyr



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:33:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9327032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countingcyr/pseuds/countingcyr





	1. unos

brendon ™ sent you a snap!

brendon: hello

rye: uhm?

brendon: i like your name

rye: ??

rye: who are you?

brendon: im brendon

rye: nahhhhh

brendon: you don't need to introduce yourself, //rye bread//

rye: stop this is harassment

brendon is typing...

rye: whered you go

brendon: sorry I thought I hit send lmao

rye: oh dw dw im just lonely

brendon: why are you lonely

rye: because its 2am who tf is up at this hour

brendon: its like 11 here

brendon: are you in America?

rye bread is typing...

rye: I don't feel comfortable sharing that

brendon: o okay that's okay

brendon: im not a stalker btw

rye: how did you even find my sc??

brendon: I have no idea I was typing random things lmao

brendon: my friend dared me to type holyemojesus but I spelled it wrong so I found yorus lmao

brendon: *yours

rye: o

brendon: holymemojesus is a great name btw

rye: ahah this wasn't even my acc my old internet friend gave it to me bc it has massive streaks

brendon: streaks are important

rye: agree

brendon: so whats your actual name

rye: take a guess

brendon: idk

rye: what an ass

rye: jkjk its george

brendon: I love it

rye: no you don't

brendon: yes I do george is the best name

rye: ew George is the worst name I hate it

brendon: how does it relate to rye bread tho

brendon: George is great

rye: well I prefer to be called by my middle name bc its not as dumb as George

brendon: let me guess

brendon: I will actually guess

rye: ok

brendon: its ryan isn't it

rye: what a creep he knows my middle name

rye: wait that's very assuming of me

rye: he/she/they ?

brendon: he or they idrm

rye: ok cool

brendon: wbu

rye: I honestly don't care

brendon: alright ill probably use he a lit

rye: *lot

rye: and that's okay ahah

brendon: stop bullying me typing si hard

rye: ...

brendon: ew

brendon: go to sleep

rye: no mom

brendon: I will come to your hosue and force feed you cake

rye: hosue

brendon: hosue

rye: you don't know where I live

brendon: I will find you

rye: I don't even like cake

brendon: that's the point

brendon: but also wtf who doesn't like cake

rye: me

brendon: gfy

rye: I thought you said sleep

brendon: youre an ass

rye: I know

brendon: ew

rye: what do you want from me

brendon: a friend bc its nearly midnight and I have like 0 friends

rye: aww

rye: actually im not surprised

brendon: rude

brendon ™ changed their name to bread on

rye: uhm?

bread: now when we type it goes rye, then bread

rye: youre a genius

bread: we are soulmates

rye: soulm9s

bread: no

rye: salty

rye: no homo tho

bread: aw

bread: :"(

bread: in 20 years time I guarantee you I will be your second husband

rye: what happened to my first husband

bread: nothing you can prove

rye: ew im not even gat

bread: gat

rye: fuck off its like 3am

bread: sleep

rye: no

bread: do you have school tomorrow

rye: no

rye: maybe

bread on is typing...

rye: ok yes

bread: sleep

rye: no mother I slept last night

bread: no you didn't

rye: ok maybe I didn't

bread: sleep

rye: ugh

rye: fine

bread: good

bread: sleep is goos

rye: goos

bread: sleep

rye: why tho

bread: so youre not a zombie at school tomorrow

bread: I don't wanna marry a zombie

rye: were not getting married

bread: not tomorrow

rye: ew gay

bread on is typing...

rye: that's not meant to be homophobic btw

rye: I have nothing against homosexuals

bread: o okay I lowkey got a little worried

rye: sorry lmao

bread: that's okay at least I wasn't rude

rye: you really want to marry me don't you

bread: shhhhhhh

bread: goodnight sleep

rye: ugh night

bread: ((((((((((:


	2. deux

bread on sent you a snap!

bread: hello

rye: (:

bread: im at school ew

rye: ew me too

bread: you in class

rye: yea English wbu

bread: not yet lmao I have drama in like 5 minutes tho

rye: o drama is pretty good

bread: yea

bread: did you actually sleep

rye: yes

rye: I do not lie

bread: whatever you say

rye: you don't even know me you can ask all my friends

bread: give me their sc

rye: no he doesn't have an sc

bread: just one?

rye: yeah basically

rye: no one likes my friend except me so

bread: everyone be salty

rye: agree

bread: im in dramam

rye: dramam

bread: no im texting under a table

rye: stop texting

rye: do your work

bread: your work is more important

rye: ew no math is hard I cant do it

bread: that's why you learn

rye: that's why you have a friend

bread: I have like 4 friends

rye: whatever you say

bread: that's more than you

rye: actually I have more friensd their just not like super close friends

bread: friensd

rye: I have friensd

bread: ok whatever

bread: if that counts I got like 1894 friends

rye: weren't you born in 1894

bread: shut up I bet your older than me

rye: how old u then

bread: fifteen

rye: o im sixteen

bread: AHAGKJDHK I WIN

rye: ew you smol child

bread: wow you just wanna bully me :"(

rye: you got me

bread: reporting

rye: you do that

bread: stop

rye: no

rye: do your work

bread: noooooo its easy

rye: do it

bread: no you do yours

rye: only if you do yours

bread: ew no

rye: youre an @$$

bread: $t0p $c3n3 b!tch

rye: blocked & reported

bread: no come back

rye: ew you scene butch

bread: butch

rye: shut up

bread: do your work

rye: stop

bread: im leaving and I wont text you ever if tou don't do your work

rye: *you

rye: and idc I don't need you

bread: :"((((((((((

rye: ew

bread: im leaving salty bitch

rye: you do you

bread: no

rye: if you don't do your work were not getting married

bread: bye

rye: were still not getting married

bread: fu


	3. tlieta

bread on sent you a snap!

bread: hello

rye: (:

bread: so I know how old ypu are whens the birthday

rye: august 30 wbu

bread: april 12 lmao

rye: well be the same age for a couple months ahahah

bread: like 5 months

rye: do the math its more like

rye: 5 months

bread: see I can math

bread: unlike you who doesn't do their work

rye: I do sometimes

bread: liar

rye: sometimes

bread: that's not enough

rye: how often do you

bread: I hardly ever text in class

rye: wow honestly I don't too much but when my friend is away I do

bread: lmao good friend

rye: he smart

bread: whats his name?

rye: oliver

bread: I love it

rye: no you don't

bread: I do

rye: whats your best friends name??

bread: spencer

rye: noice

bread: don't say noice

rye: I can do what I want mom

bread: no you cant son

rye: what mom calls their son son

bread: daddys

rye: NO

rye: I WILL UNFRIEND YOU

bread: so we actually were friends??

bread: achievement

bread: actually my other friend is the dad

rye: you gay son

bread: youre not my daddy

rye: no im not

rye: I was imitating your friend

rye: (((( whats his name???? ))))

bread: dallon

bread: daddy dallon

rye: ew

bread: don't be homophobic

rye: im not homophobic youre just really gay

bread: im bisexual

rye: o

bread: are you a boring hetero

rye: don't be a hatero

bread: no

rye: pun king ryan

bread: pumpkin ryan

rye: no

bread: yes

bread: I gotta leave ugh >.>

rye: ok

rye: bye

bread: cya pumpkin

rye: ew


	4. vier

bread on sent you a snap!

bread: hello

rye: (:

bread: you always reply so fast but never text me first

rye: I will always find a reason not to text you first

bread: no you must text me first

rye: nevr

rye: I do not text people first

rye: *never

bread: you must

rye: no mom

bread: stop calling me mom

rye: I can do what I want

rye: mom

bread: ew

rye: don't be a hatero I don't get to call people dad

bread: hatero is not a thing

rye: yes it is gfy

bread: no it is not

rye bread is typing...

bread: ??

bread: its been five minutes where did tou go

bread: ryan?????

bread: ok bye then


	5. fem

bread on sent you a snap!

bread: hello

rye: (:

bread: why did you leave me earlier

rye: oli needed me to do something he made me do it

bread: ugh

bread: youre prioritizing /that guy/ over /me/

rye: shut up oli will murder you if he knows you said that

bread: I was joking

bread: but he sounds a little mean??

rye: no olis great

bread: ok then

rye: so wyd?

bread: spence dal and I are at a party and its not fun

rye: hah

bread: no w33d

rye: you druggo

bread: not really I don't smoke that much

rye: that much?????

rye: smoking not good for you

bread: cigarettes are worse than weed stop freaking out

rye: weed isn't that good either

bread: its ok trust me

rye: ugh

bread: you give up so easily I love it

rye: no you don't

bread: stop

rye: no mom

bread: I swear

rye: don't swear that bad

bread: no daddy im a big boii

rye: I will end you

bread: try me

rye: I wrote a song its weird asf

bread: nice change of subject

bread: but whats it about

rye: I was drunk but its about how my mom is a massive slut

bread: o

rye: yea its sad

bread: why were you drunk

rye: I am old enough to be drunk

bread: youre 16???

rye: youre fifteen and you smoke weed so

bread: okay fine

bread: so like give me a gist of it

rye: so basically I knew my mom was a slut when she married my dad this time but I didn't say anything and basically its me telling her to close the fucking door because I knew she was fucking some dudes behind my dads back

bread: 'this time'?

rye: yea they were married when I was born then when I was 6 they remarried then 13 again and they got another divorce now

bread: wow

bread: sorry to hear that

rye: its okay lmao

bread: you write music tho?

rye: yeah im pretty crao tho

bread: 1 crao

bread: 2 im sure youre not

rye: I really am?

bread: you should send me some of your songs

rye: ew no I cant do that

bread: sure you can

rye: gotta go bye

bread: mkay

bread: bye


	6. sechs

bread on sent you a snap!

bread: hello

rye: (:

bread: school is yuck

rye: agree

rye: class??

bread: chem u?

rye: music

bread: musics not bad

rye: I love music

rye: well compared to the other subjects

bread: yea ik what you mean

rye: you play anything?

bread: piano? sometimes I sing but not really

rye: OML YES SING

bread: ew no

rye: ugh

bread: what do you play?

rye: guitar

rye: and like

rye: if oli wants me to sing?

rye: except at school then trick sings

bread: trick??

rye: yeah hes like my closest friend other than oliver

bread: trick is a mad name

rye: short for Patrick

bread: o cool

bread: were doing prac in chem its not too bad but we gotta wear eye protection

rye: hah

bread: don't be

bread: so rude

rye: you hit enter earlier what a retard

bread: you digust ne

rye: I digust u ok

bread: bye

rye: bye rhymes with rye

rye: also the start of rhymes

rye: rhy

bread: ew no

rye bread has changed their name to rhy mes

bread: NO WE DON'T MATCH

rhy: idgaf I don't care about you

bread: rude

rhy: I can be rude if I want

bread: no you cant

rhy: ew

rhy: gotta ryan ross bye

bread: I know your last name AHHAHDFAKJDSFHA

rhy: fuc


	7. 일곱

bread on sent you a snap!

bread: hello

rhy: (:

bread: so I know youre last name what now

rhy: *your

rhy: but idk is that bad?

bread: usually we don't share last names but

bread: but anyway why did you say your name their

rhy: apparently it's a thing so

bread: ok then

rhy: also *there

bread: are you the grammar police what happened to ryan

rhy: ryan doesn't exist its just a trap to lure you in then murder you

rhy: I mean *ahem* he went to get a drink

bread: exposed

bread: gotta ryan ross tho

rhy: fuck you


	8. 八

rhy mes sent you a snap!

rhy: lmao I texted first yuo hapyp

bread: yes actually

rhy: goooooooood

rhy: im so broed this us so bring

bread: you ok?

rhy: I cant tthink lol

bread: are you drunk??

rhy: I only had a few drinksss

bread: ryan what the fuck you have school tomorrow!!

rhy: noooo it will ve fineeee

bread: no ryan go home

rhy: I might be tipsy but I nkow i. Not suposedto drivee lmao

bread: youre not tipsy youre drunk

bread: and get your friend to drive you home

rhy: this is ahs hoe

bread: what?

rhy: olik cahn dive

bread: ???

rhy: oliver cant drive lol

bread: youre at tricks house?

rhy: no his names peat

bread: is that Patrick guy there?

rhy: he left like 7 minuts agi

bread: what ugh why??

rhy: idk he was talking but I wasnt listnin anb he was liek f u ryan I m avi

bread: I cant understand you typing

rhy: I done careeeee

bread: call pat and get him to take you home

rhy: hes like amd thooooooo

bread: MAKE SOMEONE DRIVE YOU HOME RYAN ROSS OR I WILL CALL AN UBER FOR YOU

rhy: ok fine jon might

bread: bye ry

bread: get home safe

rhy: lol Im be fineee

bread on is typing...

bread: sure


	9. nove

brendon urie sent you a snap!

brendon: hello


	10. sampu

brendon urie sent you a snap!

brendon: hello

rhy: (:

brendon: thank god I havnt heard from you for like 50 hours

rhy: it was like 20

brendon: close

rhy: why?? were you worried??

brendon: yes you were flat out drunk

rhy: ugh I have a hangover too

brendon: its like 4 pm wyd?

rhy: actually its 7

rhy: I just finished dinner and my parents are mad

brendon: I wonder what for ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

rhy: fuc off

brendon: seriously though don't drink that much youre 16

brendon: its not good

rhy: stop smoking then

rhy: its an addiction

rhy: we all have them

rhy: so get over it

brendon: jeez im sorry

rhy: im gotta go ok

rhy: text me tomorrow when you get to school

brendon: alright

brendon: see ya ryan

rhy: stop using my name im incomfortable

brendon: its actually uncomfortable

rhy: whatever


	11. 十一

brendon urie sent you a snap!

brendon: hello

rhy: (:

brendon: hows school going?

rhy: its so bad im

brendon: how bad was it yesterday tho?

rhy: yesterday? ugh

rhy: I slept just about all through the first four classes with regular intervals to throw up

rhy: then my parents wouldn’t pick me up

rhy: and trick is avoiding me

rhy: plus im the only one that’s this hungover wtf

brendon: don’t drink smh

rhy: stop I can drink you can smoke

brendon: ugh

rhy: im in eng though I should prolly listen its for our final exams

brendon: ok yes do that

brendon: bye bye ryan ross

rhy: ew bye


	12. kumi na mbili

brendon urie sent you a snap!

brendon: hello

rhy: (:

rhy: I just realised I know your last name ;;;))

brendon: noooo why

rhy: you made a mistake

brendon: I realised

rhy mes is typing...

brendon urie is typing...

brendon: ugh idk what to say

brendon: what are your problems

rhy: trick

brendon: o yes

rhy: idk I kinda

rhy: idk dw

brendon: no tell me

rhy: ugh

rhy: mom

brendon: no son tell me

rhy: I hate you

brendon: (:

rhy: so like hes avoiding me??

rhy: I hate it??

rhy: were not talking at all like

rhy: I think he blocked my sc

rhy: and I miss him so much

brendon: why he mad??

rhy: idk

rhy: I hope it isn't something from that party

brendon: you told me he was talking to you then he said 'fuck you ryan' and walked off

rhy: oh

rhy: he might have been saying something important then

rhy: but so important he avoids me completely??

rhy: im so sad I cant deal

brendon: idk man

rhy: hey ugh this is a bit weird

rhy: but is it possible I could like

rhy: like trick

rhy: like its been 2 days and im so fuckin wrecked

brendon: that's not what love is ryan

rhy: I know but

rhy: maybe I like him?

brendon: don't make assumptions

rhy: fuc olis coming hes mad I better go

brendon: no don't go

rhy: I need to apparently hes going to call trick and something if I don't get out of my room now I need to go

brendon: tell him fuck off

rhy: no are you insane

rhy: he will break my door down I cant do that

brendon: ugh okay fine bye ryan

rhy: sorry


	13. telo ambin'ny folo

brendon urie sent you a snap!

brendon: hello

rhy: (:

brendon: how was your day

rhy: ):

brendon: sorry to hear that

rhy: /:

brendon: stop talking in faces

rhy: o.o

brendon: ew

rhy: e.e


	14. چودہ

brendon urie sent you a snap!

brendon: hello

rhy: (:

rhy mes is typing…

brendon: hows stuff with trick??

rhy: I talked to him

brendon: good good howd it go

rhy: not great

brendon: tell me exactly what happened

rhy: ugh mom 

brendon: tell me son

rhy: ew

brendon: anyway…?

rhy: okay

rhy: so I finally got the courage to go speak to him and I was like hey trick idk why you avoiding me but I miss you whats up and he said you never listen to me and I was saying that if this was about something at the party I was drunk then he said but you /never/ listen to me and I was saying im 90% sure I do and I really miss him then oli came over and told Patrick he was an ass and he doesn’t deserve me and pat did nothing but I slapped oli and started yelling at him and then trick started crying and ran away

brendon: oli sounds really mean

brendon: are you sure hes your friend

rhy: hes my only friend brendon

brendon: maybe youre mistaking friendship

brendon: what makes him your friend

rhy: hes always around

rhy: he tries to help me with stuff but often fails

rhy: keeps me company

rhy: hes trustworthy

rhy: and other reasons

brendon: but then these things don’t make him your friend:

brendon: he messes up your friendships

brendon: hes always mad and threatens you

brendon: and he ‘fails to help you’

rhy: we cant all be good at everything brendon!!

brendon: I know but he fucked up you and tricks friendship that’s not okay friends don’t get in the way

rhy: brendon maybe /you/ don’t know friendship

rhy: what makes your best friend yoruo friend

brendon: I feel safe around them

brendon: and he feels safe around me

rhy mes is typing…


	15. ʻumikumālima

spencer is the best sent you a snap!

spencer: hello

rhy: (:

rhy: hey spencer

spencer: ??

spencer: im brendon wyd

rhy: no youre not

rhy: it says youre ‘spencer is the best’

spencer: ew the demon child

rhy: lmao

spencer: xD

rhy: stop knowing me right now

spencer: ):

rhy: ugh

spencer is the best has changed their name to actually brendon is

actually: is this better

rhy: so n so

actually: idk what to make my name

rhy: me neither

actually: actually I got an ide

actually brendon is has changed their name to weed friend

rhy: NO

rhy: NOT THE WEEEEEEED

weed: yes weed

rhy mes has changed their name to no weeeeeeed

no: bitc

weed: ugh kys

weed: I just wanna have fun

no: you just wanna be high

weed: that works

no: goat a go

weed: never again

no: im not the one that s high

no: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	16. zestien

weed friend sent you a snap!

weed friend: hello

no: (:

no: I see you kept the name

weed: you did too

weed: you got a skype

no: ,,

weed: are you doing what I think youre doing

no: ,,

weed: I think youre smoking

weed: ,,

no: okay were done no

weed: you mean you don’t have a skype

no: that is correct

weed: get one we gotta skype

no: goat a skype

weed: no

weed: no goat

no: rude

weed: make a skype I wanna skypeeee

no: ugh

no: can we do it tomorrow??

no: im going to the park with oli later hopefully seeing trick

weed: you should go alone

no: why

weed: maybe its better

no: yeah weed knows whats best

weed: do you get protective of oli??

weed: also no stop ew

no: idk

no: okay ima go now

weed: okay

weed: stay safe

weed: don’t do drugs

no weeeeed is typing…

weed: unless its me

no: kys


	17. арван долоон

weed friend sent you a snap!

weed: hello

no: (:

weed: DO YOU HAVE THE SKYPE

no: yes

weed: ADD ME

no: whats your user

weed: just search spencer smith that's my name again bc spencer is an ass

no: okay found you

weed: text on there

no: no I cant actually talk today lmao pete decided to come over

weed: whos pete

no: tricks rlly close friend

weed: why cant we skype with him

no: bc were discussing trick

weed: o

weed: well send me a pic of u then so I know what you look like

no: ew no

weed: I will

no: ugh

no: you first

weed: okay

weed: (ao3 doesnt take images so insert image of brendon herre

weed: when u friends take the sneaky photos

weed: when u friends take the sneaky photos

no: boi I like ur face

weed: thank but your turn

no: ugh

no: must i

weed: you said you would!!

no: ugh fine

no: let me find a suitable one

no: because im uglie af

weed: I don't believe

no: compared to you I prolly look like a placenta

weed: stop making me imagine and send a damn photo

no: (again no photo so ryan

no: that ones okay I guess

no: that ones okay I guess

no: well not really it sucks but I cant find any other good one so I just took one and edited it

no: sorry its really not good

no: brendon?

no: weed

weed: I heard weed

no: kys

weed: your ereally cute don't put yourself down

no: uhm

no: do you want some glasses??

weed: I have glasses

no: ugh

no: im uglie I know that lmao

weed: youre a beaut

weed: not uglie

no: stop

no: want a pic of pete

weed: why not

weed: I mean

no: (the one where pete falls over and his glasses are on the end of his nose)

no: I photod him when we walked outside

weed: lmao

weed: your friend is emo

no: I know that

no: better go before he falls into the pool

weed: okay lmao

weed: skype tomorrow

no: hopefully

weed: okay bye

no: bye


End file.
